You Are Not Alone: What to Say (and What Not to Say) to Someone Who Gets Diagnosed with Breast Cancer

You Are Not Alone: What to Say (and What Not to Say) to Someone Who Gets Diagnosed with Breast Cancer

A breast cancer diagnosis can be a shock. It can leave patients feeling scared, alone, and unsure of what the future holds. If you have a friend or loved one recently diagnosed with breast cancer, you may wonder what you can do to support them.

Here are some things to say (and not to say) to someone who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer:

What To Say:

"I'm sorry." While it may not seem like much, sometimes the simplest thing you can do is offer your condolences. Let your friend or loved one know that you are there for them and that you're sorry for what they're going through.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Many people prefer not to talk about their cancer diagnosis right away. However, some people find it helpful to discuss their experiences with friends and family members. If your friend or loved one wants to talk about their cancer, be a good listener. Try to resist the urge to offer unsolicited advice or share personal stories unless asked.

"Is there anything I can do?" Many people diagnosed with cancer feel like they are a burden on their friends and family members. Offer to help out with running errands, cooking meals, taking care of pets, or anything else that might help make your friend or loved one's life a little easier during this difficult time.

What Not To Say:

"Everything happens for a reason." This statement implies that there is a positive reason why your friend or loved one got cancer. In reality, there is no positive reason for getting cancer. This statement may cause your friend or loved one to feel like they are being blamed for their cancer diagnosis.

"Cancer is not a death sentence." While it's important to remain optimistic, it's also important to be realistic. Cancer is a serious disease that can often be fatal. Telling someone with cancer that they will definitely survive may cause them to feel pressure and guilt if they do not beat the disease.

"My cousin/friend/relative had breast cancer, and she did XYZ." Every person's experience with cancer is different. What worked for your cousin or friend may not work for the person you are talking to. Avoid giving unsolicited advice and allow your friend or loved one to make their own decisions about treatment and care.

If you have been diagnosed with breast cancer, know that you are not alone in this fight. There are millions of other women who have gone through (or are currently going through) the same thing as you. Reach out to close friends and family members so that you have an outlet to express how you're feeling. And if someone you know has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, offer your support by listening and being there for them when they need it most.

The Deep Center is an online community for breast cancer patients and thrivers.